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H4LO

by Elusive

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1.
b l n c should of cashed in when I could of lil liquor in me, throw my hood up i need that, na? I’m good love i just need some balance in this life (x2) we don’t suppose to be here where we come from and we still here yea and we want more this is real I don’t know what you looking for can’t give you all that all I got is soul i could promise u trips to the grocery stores something like tv without the mopped floors we got dirty kicks cause we kick it in dirty places and we dont trust you because we seen too many faces that are faceless and they brainless reflections and yet they can’t face it a chain of events, and i still cant explain it a frame of mind that really wasnt mine man never mind, i came here for a good time let me spark one up, light up a shooting star fuck around and find out who they really are shits gets funny daw but fuck it I just shrug it off should of cashed in when I could of lil liquor in me, i throw my hood up i need that, na? I’m good love i just need some balance in this life (x2) this life will take it all if you let it life a blessing lil homie don’t forget it i use to fear hearing knocks on my door I never really knew what they coming for I just knew one day I was going to even out the score suckas going to pay for everything that they owe and I don’t give a fuck if it’s been years your going to feel every shiver, every tear your going to understand why a homie like me is still here, still here (4x) should of cashed in when I could of lil liquor in me, i throw my hood up i need that, na? I’m good love i just need some balance in this life (x2)
2.
F E E L lost myself, not sure where I went looking for me and found no one there ive been picking myself up, off random floors piece by piece puzzling myself whole who knew love was found in luxury stores loyal to the game, i got trust in my aim evolving to survive, you can say that I change keep it real with myself, to them it seems strange wondering why i keep feeding flame why yall keeping score this aint part of no game got my hoody on, keeps my thoughts in my head if I speak my mind, ill probably be (2x) how I feel how you feel how you feel is this real is this real I dont even know how you deal how you deal with these feels love yourself, can’t remember when why you play yourself we can’t be friends they feed you lies cause they know you real they try to water you down cause you too ill tell you what you missing cause you seemed filled weaken that foundation that we both build don’t let em tell you what are your flaws, don’t let man doubt your bond with god world in misery and it needs company difficult to follow, so they’ll rather say you going the wrong way don’t believe em, they afraid under your shadow so they can talk shade against all elements and we won’t fade thought you figured it out since way back when thought you made it out the cave, why you going back in (2x) how I feel how you feel how you feel is this real is this real I dont even know how you deal how you deal with these feels
3.
FREE ill take your pain; ill give it life i don’t know the cost but I paid the price heated thoughts, my heart on ice break down doors, take your dog, kids, and wife that type of ice, no soda with your rights homie i never ran, daw always had a bike you swing and miss, ha, that’s a strike i take a step back just to get you right this cant be it, no, this cant be life this is it homie, get a grip or lose your life they don’t listen, somethings missing somethings twisted, must be the gifted conflicted by the sickness of witness my illness is my realness might want to check your pulse if you dont feel this staying alive is my only business and uh, we in business brewing billions you aint help me feed myself, so why you bitching poison on your lips, baby who you kissing my dreams too big I need more distance get away from me, get away from me, im pretty sure I got demons circling me must be the halo that attracts em must be that good energy that keeps em back hu? pray for me pray for me I’m still here, and im living free
4.
GAME i could never fail, just by breathing I win i could never tell if im living in sin lost are the fears i left in the wind found are the dreams I knew as a kid (2X) all my worth fits in a pillow sack all my homies, now, now, where you at can’t hide no more you under attack cant avoid hits, now you a runnings back finish the rotation its coming back ground will swallow you; stay away from cracks now you in hell wondering how you got there now you naked with your life forsaken and everything you ever loved is for the taken cant control your thoughts no more they shaken and just cause you think it, dont mean its true and just cause they said it, dont mean its you walk around with a smug on my face trying to give me what’s mine in the first place you think i got my scars for being stupid you think this shit is easy like a rubiks you think you know it all and got it all figure out talk to me like i can’t fit my fist in your mouth till you feel that pop and you feel that pain eyes wide open, now u in the game now you in the game now you in the game now you in the game
5.
g r o w - elusive (free) 02:00
i have nothing to say all these words on this page suddenly don’t mean shit ive been up for hours draining my heart trying to find those words that give a me jump start but I’m stuck, I’m stuck i can’t move on get me in a white coupe with the roof gone and place to stay with a yellow futon so i can think clear, get my money, and disappear where u going? I don’t know but I can’t stay here i got, too much knowledge to know, too many flowers to grow too many scenes to see, more oxygen to breath more reasons to stay, less excuses to leave, brought up different waves homie can’t you sea its not them against us, its we against the machine against the cycle, against whats expected to be seems to me its all for the american dream even if they try and make it seem it wasn’t meant for me grime under fingernails living isnt free smile on my face living isnt guaranteed out to make zillions pay off every fee callouses on my knuckles; trouble always found me chin tucked in I’m trying to keep my teeth exercising those muscles that, they can’t see its all elusive, no one else I rather be no one else I rather be no one else I rather be no one else I rather be
6.
i said ha ha ha ha we aint really suppose to fly, na we suppose to stay in our hoods & die we change the world whenever we try all the questions I had, all that bad shit i bagged, its coming up to the surface im confused as to what’s its purpose i thought i knew, I was certain but it shifted and i feel the burden won’t stop me; to get this work in when i get it they’ll never question if i deserve it started walking more heavy when i walked with purpose started feeling better when I knew I was worth it & don’t be tripping homie none of us is really perfect grasping my balance in this emotional whirlwind and it ain’t easy, believe me sometimes i feel fucked up & crazy but I know, but i know, its just passing thru what can I do, that’s the life of a siccazfoo i said ha ha ha ha we aint really suppose to fly, na we suppose to stay in our hoods & die we change the world whenever we try!
7.
HAND it aint easy so you can understand i see the pressure being given by the man see you lose your breath i see the gripping hand i see you confused like this wasn’t part of the plan so i guess this is the part, stage to be a man there is no route, we run where we land hope the universe i don’t fall off a cliff stuck in the memory a curse or a gif just like a garden you get what you give just like a flower nourished by where you live you can see the streets yea they’ll never forget even though they destroy us off the map build new buildings and call them this & that now we can’t afford to live in em, so we can’t go back now you got to adapt, put on that thinking cap collect your resources, find your habitat off the rails with no care of ever coming back filling the void between fiction and fact true to my roots even though its a drought in a time when they’ll do anything for clout and their conscious stays darker than a stout who wants inner peace if thats something they can’t see? they rather have something to show, something to boast even if they lose what they love the most! i do not need your love i got my fucken self if it ain’t going to be you then it’ll be someone else i do not need your love i got my fucken self if it ain’t going to be you then it’ll be someone else
8.
WIND i don’t know if love ever is for me but its always for you, yea, its always for you all that love we put , in the air now its gone with the wind, yea gone with the wind (3x) who knew what love was we were strangers now we closer to each other more than we know ourselves i could sense the danger done to our mental health too young to love, too young to understand a heart break my love emotions passing through me, weightless in this ocean of feelings but I got to keep it real, maybe i was better off without you I could deal now im just stuck with the pain and the same question always remains i don’t know if love ever is for me but its always for you, yea, always for you all that love we put , in the air is it gone with the wind, yea its gone with the wind (3x)
9.
m o t v its just me against the world no body on my side I’ve been looking for a motive just to feel alright but ive been tripping lately, these trips is getting crazy been to every block so now im looking to the sky (2x) should of pan out, but we got a man down what we thought it was just spun around feeling elevated, thats ground down im the last one of the count down hunger & dreams: that’s my town still being here is our crown what the fuck you know bout our life what the fuck you know bout my type what the fuck you know bout moving forward when devils loose and nothings right when its time to die but you choose to fight when everyone happy but you aight when everyone chewing and you need a bite shit got to change, daw start with your life don’t think twice, its alright don’t think twice, its alright its just me against the world no body on my side I’ve been looking for a motive just to feel alright but ive been tripping lately, these trips is getting crazy been to every block so now im looking to the sky
10.
I’ve been away for so long i don’t even know where ive gone I just know i touch the stars catch me on my way, I’m falling (3x) how can I be so wrong how can I let my people down i just want to take em to a better place i just want them to see those better days but i guess that’s too much to ask for hand grips a brick, im staring at the glass door i could see you thru your eyes what’s the mask for i got enough problems I don’t need more what I do need is what I work for and I work a lot so you know I let go i look up above while I chill with geckos and we burn it all up like its petro i keep it to myself, something so retro we keep it g, they ain’t got to say so we bring light to darkness like a halo a means to survive ever seen the get go what it is, to what I thought; its so painful im just trying to get in thru my mental that’s what i do with every instrumental create a checkpoint; a memento before it scatters and nothing really matters i swift my wand and your fantasy shatters and we don’t worry bout a thing, god got us and who needs a bitch when you have a goddess y’all just dont get it, but i get it, so i got us your going to need a spaceship just to find us they copy what they see but they don’t mind us don’t worry that they shady, that’s what shine does Thats what shine does Thats what shine does
11.
h t b k a heartbreak, my heartbreak, they hearts break i cant love when all you do is take, just take a heartbreak, my heartbreak, they hearts break i cant love when all you do is take, just take I’m running low, but im running thru if we ever kick it just know im passing thru i got an issue with the world, might include you maybe its just the view, maybe its just my truth change the channel, i cant put the voices on mute i push my body until my soul pukes flushing the body, flushing the soul you see im staying in control, handouts i refuse i gots to watch my thoughts before i pop a fuse the hood kills us more ways than it should some in cemeteries others in institutions others be how I feel, thats fucken useless just how I put me down, I raise me up you gots to be self efficient in this motherfucka you could think what you will, I aint no sucka got carry enough love when no one loves ya a heartbreak, my heartbreak, they hearts break i cant love when all you do is take, just take a heartbreak, my heartbreak, they hearts break i cant love when all you do is take, just take ive been walking on faith ever since I could walk ive speaking on truth ever since I could talk ive been swimming these waters, outworking these sharks ive been focused on mine, u know throwing these darts i could see these vampires, im protecting my heart enemies and friends, na, you cant tell em apart got to learn to keep it together when your falling apart got to stay smart, they after you since the start you a fool, if you ever let me get you foo biggest fuck you is when they can’t fuck with you best whip is when they cant repo your shit and the best roof is the one they cant evict that’s the type of shit we should be on but instead we out here trying to prove losers wrong man fuck em, man fuck em, a heartbreak, my heartbreak, they hearts break i cant love when all you do is take, just take a heartbreak, my heartbreak, they hearts break i cant love when all you do is take, just take
12.
ROOT it aint easy being me probably aint easy being you if it is then woo hoo! these words probably don’t mean nothing to you but the truth is homie I ain’t even talking to you so move a side let the lil homie ride by he ain’t living right cause he ain’t got nothing left well thats what he perceives, so thats what he gets stuck in between; trauma and the drugs tell me what you on, ill tell you how you fall off bottled inside, well ill show you how to cough vladimirs kaufman with that sawed off, you can call the feds and the feds call us all the shade they get is from behind us nothing stopping the sun from shining on us its too late, its too late roots found their way its too late, its too late concrete breaks its too late, its too late concrete breaks its too late, its too late concrete breaks its too late, its too late concrete breaks
13.
SKIN no matter what i do i find my way to you no matter what I say i still believe in you skin brown; flag, red, white, blue i got this fire in me don’t know what should I do i got every reason to the hate my hood whatever i do i won’t turn my back on you only if you knew all I do is fight for you were going to get it done homie, thats what we do don’t let em tell you what you need what to believe, what you be what you are, ingredients from a star you need will, not a car to get far they give degrees, we earn god given scars ill play their game just to show em who we are i look around and none look like me tell me what happen to them homies city full of people but i feel lonely all those plans we had G now they on me as time goes on vision gets blurry I’m running out so you see me I’m a hurry my fuel is filled with pain and worries too all the lost souls this your story this for your conscious, fuck your nonsense this is for the moms trying to make ends this for the pops who works late shifts this is for the sister fighting older misters this is for the brother always being bothered by foos who don’t understand a man and karma no matter what i do i find my way back to you no matter what I say i still believe in you skin brown; flag, red, white, blue i got this fire in me, what should I do so many things changed i don’t even think the same do i modify myself or modify this game do i go by what they say or by what I feel can I really live my dreams and thats for real i got a lot of questions and energy and time to build, grind, for this better me I’m always fighting life, its always testing me i could only smile when foos question me world knows all i ever been is righteous a conversation with gods as I write this i need to do what i came to do fuck what the price is I’m living to the power of every homie lifeless mm. and thats just how i feel play some instrumentals thats how i deal with this, and everything else i know nothing, i only know myself no matter what i do i find my way to you no matter what I say i still believe in you skin brown; flag, red, white, blue i got this fire in me don’t know what should I do 


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released October 9, 2019

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