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b l n c
should of cashed in when I could of
lil liquor in me, throw my hood up
i need that, na? I’m good love
i just need some balance in this life
(x2)
we don’t suppose to be here where we come from
and we still here yea and we want more
this is real I don’t know what you looking for
can’t give you all that all I got is soul
i could promise u trips to the grocery stores
something like tv without the mopped floors
we got dirty kicks cause we kick it in dirty places
and we dont trust you because we seen too many faces
that are faceless and they brainless
reflections and yet they can’t face it
a chain of events, and i still cant explain it
a frame of mind that really wasnt mine
man never mind, i came here for a good time
let me spark one up, light up a shooting star
fuck around and find out who they really are
shits gets funny daw but fuck it I just shrug it off
should of cashed in when I could of
lil liquor in me, i throw my hood up
i need that, na? I’m good love
i just need some balance in this life
(x2)
this life will take it all if you let it
life a blessing lil homie don’t forget it
i use to fear hearing knocks on my door
I never really knew what they coming for
I just knew one day I was going to even out the score
suckas going to pay for everything that they owe
and I don’t give a fuck if it’s been years
your going to feel every shiver, every tear
your going to understand
why a homie like me is still here, still here
(4x)
should of cashed in when I could of
lil liquor in me, i throw my hood up
i need that, na? I’m good love
i just need some balance in this life
(x2)
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2. |
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F E E L
lost myself, not sure where
I went looking for me and found no one there
ive been picking myself up, off random floors
piece by piece puzzling myself whole
who knew love was found in luxury stores
loyal to the game, i got trust in my aim
evolving to survive, you can say that I change
keep it real with myself, to them it seems strange
wondering why i keep feeding flame
why yall keeping score this aint part of no game
got my hoody on, keeps my thoughts in my head
if I speak my mind, ill probably be
(2x)
how I feel
how you feel
how you feel
is this real
is this real
I dont even know how you deal
how you deal
with these feels
love yourself, can’t remember when
why you play yourself we can’t be friends
they feed you lies cause they know you real
they try to water you down cause you too ill
tell you what you missing cause you seemed filled
weaken that foundation that we both build
don’t let em tell you what are your flaws,
don’t let man doubt your bond with god
world in misery and it needs company
difficult to follow,
so they’ll rather say you going the wrong way
don’t believe em, they afraid
under your shadow so they can talk shade
against all elements and we won’t fade
thought you figured it out since way back when
thought you made it out the cave, why you going back in
(2x)
how I feel
how you feel
how you feel
is this real
is this real
I dont even know how you deal
how you deal
with these feels
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3. |
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FREE
ill take your pain; ill give it life
i don’t know the cost but I paid the price
heated thoughts, my heart on ice
break down doors, take your dog, kids, and wife
that type of ice, no soda with your rights
homie i never ran, daw always had a bike
you swing and miss, ha, that’s a strike
i take a step back just to get you right
this cant be it, no, this cant be life
this is it homie, get a grip or lose your life
they don’t listen, somethings missing
somethings twisted, must be the gifted
conflicted by the sickness of witness
my illness is my realness
might want to check your pulse if you dont feel this
staying alive is my only business
and uh, we in business
brewing billions
you aint help me feed myself, so why you bitching
poison on your lips, baby who you kissing
my dreams too big I need more distance
get away from me, get away from me,
im pretty sure I got demons circling me
must be the halo that attracts em
must be that good energy that keeps em back hu?
pray for me
pray for me
I’m still here,
and im living free
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4. |
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GAME
i could never fail, just by breathing I win
i could never tell if im living in sin
lost are the fears i left in the wind
found are the dreams I knew as a kid
(2X)
all my worth fits in a pillow sack
all my homies, now, now, where you at
can’t hide no more you under attack
cant avoid hits, now you a runnings back
finish the rotation its coming back
ground will swallow you; stay away from cracks
now you in hell wondering how you got there
now you naked with your life forsaken
and everything you ever loved is for the taken
cant control your thoughts no more they shaken
and just cause you think it, dont mean its true
and just cause they said it, dont mean its you
walk around with a smug on my face
trying to give me what’s mine in the first place
you think i got my scars for being stupid
you think this shit is easy like a rubiks
you think you know it all and got it all figure out
talk to me like i can’t fit my fist in your mouth
till you feel that pop and you feel that pain
eyes wide open, now u in the game
now you in the game
now you in the game
now you in the game
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5. |
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i have nothing to say
all these words on this page suddenly don’t mean shit
ive been up for hours draining my heart
trying to find those words that give a me jump start
but I’m stuck, I’m stuck i can’t move on
get me in a white coupe with the roof gone
and place to stay with a yellow futon
so i can think clear, get my money, and disappear
where u going? I don’t know but I can’t stay here
i got, too much knowledge to know, too many flowers to grow
too many scenes to see, more oxygen to breath
more reasons to stay, less excuses to leave,
brought up different waves homie can’t you sea
its not them against us, its we against the machine
against the cycle, against whats expected to be
seems to me its all for the american dream
even if they try and make it seem it wasn’t meant for me
grime under fingernails living isnt free
smile on my face living isnt guaranteed
out to make zillions pay off every fee
callouses on my knuckles; trouble always found me
chin tucked in I’m trying to keep my teeth
exercising those muscles that, they can’t see
its all elusive,
no one else I rather be
no one else I rather be
no one else I rather be
no one else I rather be
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6. |
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i said ha ha ha ha
we aint really suppose to fly, na
we suppose to stay in our hoods & die
we change the world whenever we try
all the questions I had,
all that bad shit i bagged,
its coming up to the surface
im confused as to what’s its purpose
i thought i knew, I was certain
but it shifted and i feel the burden
won’t stop me; to get this work in
when i get it they’ll never question if i deserve it
started walking more heavy when i walked with purpose
started feeling better when I knew I was worth it
& don’t be tripping homie none of us is really perfect
grasping my balance in this emotional whirlwind
and it ain’t easy, believe me
sometimes i feel fucked up & crazy
but I know, but i know, its just passing thru
what can I do, that’s the life of a siccazfoo
i said ha ha ha ha
we aint really suppose to fly, na
we suppose to stay in our hoods & die
we change the world whenever we try!
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7. |
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HAND
it aint easy so you can understand
i see the pressure being given by the man
see you lose your breath i see the gripping hand
i see you confused like this wasn’t part of the plan
so i guess this is the part, stage to be a man
there is no route, we run where we land
hope the universe i don’t fall off a cliff
stuck in the memory a curse or a gif
just like a garden you get what you give
just like a flower nourished by where you live
you can see the streets yea they’ll never forget
even though they destroy us off the map
build new buildings and call them this & that
now we can’t afford to live in em, so we can’t go back
now you got to adapt, put on that thinking cap
collect your resources, find your habitat
off the rails with no care of ever coming back
filling the void between fiction and fact
true to my roots even though its a drought
in a time when they’ll do anything for clout
and their conscious stays darker than a stout
who wants inner peace if thats something they can’t see?
they rather have something to show, something to boast
even if they lose what they love the most!
i do not need your love i got my fucken self
if it ain’t going to be you then it’ll be someone else
i do not need your love i got my fucken self
if it ain’t going to be you then it’ll be someone else
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8. |
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WIND
i don’t know if love ever is for me
but its always for you, yea, its always for you
all that love we put , in the air
now its gone with the wind, yea gone with the wind
(3x)
who knew what love was
we were strangers
now we closer to each other more than we know ourselves
i could sense the danger done to our mental health
too young to love,
too young to understand a heart break my love
emotions passing through me,
weightless in this ocean of feelings
but I got to keep it real,
maybe i was better off without you I could deal
now im just stuck with the pain
and the same question always remains
i don’t know if love ever is for me
but its always for you, yea, always for you
all that love we put , in the air
is it gone with the wind, yea its gone with the wind
(3x)
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9. |
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m o t v
its just me against the world
no body on my side
I’ve been looking for a motive just to feel alright
but ive been tripping lately,
these trips is getting crazy
been to every block so now im looking to the sky
(2x)
should of pan out, but we got a man down
what we thought it was just spun around
feeling elevated, thats ground down
im the last one of the count down
hunger & dreams: that’s my town
still being here is our crown
what the fuck you know bout our life
what the fuck you know bout my type
what the fuck you know bout moving forward
when devils loose and nothings right
when its time to die but you choose to fight
when everyone happy but you aight
when everyone chewing and you need a bite
shit got to change, daw start with your life
don’t think twice, its alright
don’t think twice, its alright
its just me against the world
no body on my side
I’ve been looking for a motive just to feel alright
but ive been tripping lately,
these trips is getting crazy
been to every block so now im looking to the sky
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10. |
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I’ve been away for so long
i don’t even know where ive gone
I just know i touch the stars
catch me on my way, I’m falling
(3x)
how can I be so wrong
how can I let my people down
i just want to take em to a better place
i just want them to see those better days
but i guess that’s too much to ask for
hand grips a brick, im staring at the glass door
i could see you thru your eyes what’s the mask for
i got enough problems I don’t need more
what I do need is what I work for
and I work a lot so you know I let go
i look up above while I chill with geckos
and we burn it all up like its petro
i keep it to myself, something so retro
we keep it g, they ain’t got to say so
we bring light to darkness like a halo
a means to survive ever seen the get go
what it is, to what I thought; its so painful
im just trying to get in thru my mental
that’s what i do with every instrumental
create a checkpoint; a memento
before it scatters and nothing really matters
i swift my wand and your fantasy shatters
and we don’t worry bout a thing, god got us
and who needs a bitch when you have a goddess
y’all just dont get it, but i get it, so i got us
your going to need a spaceship just to find us
they copy what they see but they don’t mind us
don’t worry that they shady, that’s what shine does
Thats what shine does
Thats what shine does
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11. |
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h t b k
a heartbreak, my heartbreak, they hearts break
i cant love when all you do is take, just take
a heartbreak, my heartbreak, they hearts break
i cant love when all you do is take, just take
I’m running low, but im running thru
if we ever kick it just know im passing thru
i got an issue with the world, might include you
maybe its just the view, maybe its just my truth
change the channel, i cant put the voices on mute
i push my body until my soul pukes
flushing the body, flushing the soul
you see im staying in control, handouts i refuse
i gots to watch my thoughts before i pop a fuse
the hood kills us more ways than it should
some in cemeteries others in institutions
others be how I feel, thats fucken useless
just how I put me down, I raise me up
you gots to be self efficient in this motherfucka
you could think what you will, I aint no sucka
got carry enough love when no one loves ya
a heartbreak, my heartbreak, they hearts break
i cant love when all you do is take, just take
a heartbreak, my heartbreak, they hearts break
i cant love when all you do is take, just take
ive been walking on faith ever since I could walk
ive speaking on truth ever since I could talk
ive been swimming these waters, outworking these sharks
ive been focused on mine, u know throwing these darts
i could see these vampires, im protecting my heart
enemies and friends, na, you cant tell em apart
got to learn to keep it together when your falling apart
got to stay smart, they after you since the start
you a fool, if you ever let me get you foo
biggest fuck you is when they can’t fuck with you
best whip is when they cant repo your shit
and the best roof is the one they cant evict
that’s the type of shit we should be on
but instead we out here trying to prove losers wrong
man fuck em,
man fuck em,
a heartbreak, my heartbreak, they hearts break
i cant love when all you do is take, just take
a heartbreak, my heartbreak, they hearts break
i cant love when all you do is take, just take
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12. |
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ROOT
it aint easy being me
probably aint easy being you
if it is then woo hoo!
these words probably don’t mean nothing to you
but the truth is homie I ain’t even talking to you
so move a side let the lil homie ride by
he ain’t living right cause he ain’t got nothing left
well thats what he perceives, so thats what he gets
stuck in between; trauma and the drugs
tell me what you on, ill tell you how you fall off
bottled inside, well ill show you how to cough
vladimirs kaufman with that sawed off,
you can call the feds and the feds call us
all the shade they get is from behind us
nothing stopping the sun from shining on us
its too late, its too late
roots found their way
its too late, its too late
concrete breaks
its too late, its too late
concrete breaks
its too late, its too late
concrete breaks
its too late, its too late
concrete breaks
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13. |
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SKIN
no matter what i do i find my way to you
no matter what I say i still believe in you
skin brown; flag, red, white, blue
i got this fire in me don’t know what should I do
i got every reason to the hate my hood
whatever i do i won’t turn my back on you
only if you knew all I do is fight for you
were going to get it done homie, thats what we do
don’t let em tell you what you need
what to believe, what you be
what you are, ingredients from a star
you need will, not a car to get far
they give degrees, we earn god given scars
ill play their game just to show em who we are
i look around and none look like me
tell me what happen to them homies
city full of people but i feel lonely
all those plans we had G now they on me
as time goes on vision gets blurry
I’m running out so you see me I’m a hurry
my fuel is filled with pain and worries
too all the lost souls this your story
this for your conscious, fuck your nonsense
this is for the moms trying to make ends
this for the pops who works late shifts
this is for the sister fighting older misters
this is for the brother always being bothered
by foos who don’t understand a man and karma
no matter what i do i find my way back to you
no matter what I say i still believe in you
skin brown; flag, red, white, blue
i got this fire in me, what should I do
so many things changed i don’t even think the same
do i modify myself or modify this game
do i go by what they say or by what I feel
can I really live my dreams and thats for real
i got a lot of questions and energy
and time to build, grind, for this better me
I’m always fighting life, its always testing me
i could only smile when foos question me
world knows all i ever been is righteous
a conversation with gods as I write this
i need to do what i came to do fuck what the price is
I’m living to the power of every homie lifeless
mm. and thats just how i feel
play some instrumentals thats how i deal
with this, and everything else
i know nothing, i only know myself
no matter what i do i find my way to you
no matter what I say i still believe in you
skin brown; flag, red, white, blue
i got this fire in me don’t know what should I do
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released October 9, 2019